Raoul Moat And Me

I never met the bloke yet in a way I do feel some sympathy for the killer but before you judge please let me explain.

He aint no hero but like me he was being `abused` by Social Services and the former "love of his life" was stopping him from seeing his daughter.

That is where my sympathy starts and ends.

Moat shouldnt of shot the copper, the mother of his child or `fatally wounded` the boyfriend who was in the `wrong place at the wrong time`.

But the only truly `innocent` person was the blinded policeman. Sam Stobbart was a `love cheat` and Brown was sleeping with a "married women".

As the saying goes "What goes round comes around".

Stobbart proved what a low-life character she really is by selling her `adult fairy story` to the NOTW but how much of her `blood money` will she give to the family of her dead boyfriend or the shot cop?

The copper will never again see the smiling faces of his wife and daughters yet Stobbart whines "I`ll never be able to wear a bikini"

If she had a conscience or a decent bone in her body she`d spend the rest of her life wearing a burkha and doing charity work.

Let me explain why I feel a sort of link with Raoul Moat.

I spent the Friday night he was executed by the police watching the whole thing on SKY with my eldest son Sam.

This was unusual because he never stays in on a Friday night - but together we watched every second.

Adam saw the beginning and got back to watch the finale but as strange as it sounds watching the whole thing with Sam was more like therapy then entertainment.

He made comments and asked questions that I had to answer.

All week Sam and Adam had read the headlines in The Sun and watched various clips on SKY and to them Moat was a sort of `anti-hero`.

They didnt know he was an alleged child abuser or wife beater they thought he was a gangster on-the-run.

Like me they love rebels and always support the underdog.

The three of us "changed sides" only when it was revealed that the cop had been blinded and our thoughts turned to his family.

It was 7pm Adam was about to go out and Sam was just out the shower as I returned from doing the Euro Lottery.

I switched the telly from SKY Sport to SKY News.

Moat had been spotted and was surounded by armed cops.

Sam and me spent the next 7 or 8 hours glued to the box - this was a event about a `total stranger`- that turned into a Father and Son `bonding session`.

I was asked a lot of questions that enabled me to give answers and reveal thoughts I had kept to myself.

Sam:
"You should of done what Moat did"

Me:
"What shot your mum?

Sam:
"No, her boyfriend" adding "I hate her but you cant shoot the slag coz of Little Princess "

This was my moment.

"Do you really think I should of killed grimson?"

Sam:
"Yes"

"Did I let you down by doing nothing?"

There was silence.

"Go on tell me what you really think"

Sam:
"Not let me down - but I wish you`d done him - and Grandad Chas says the same"

Now I knew this which is why I aint seen or spoke to my dad for about 18 months.

Since my dad found out about richard grimson threatening and verbally sexually abusing his grandchildren he has been `on my case` saying "Why aint you done anything about it? If I was 20 years younger I`d sort him out"

Sam still visits his grandad and revealed: "Chas says the young you was wild and trouble and would of done something about it"

I explained they were both sort of `right" and admitted I did feel "guilty".

The thing is since I stopped being a teenage tearaway and a `single bloke` without any responsibilities I have always analysed everything.

Only once did I lose `control` when along with two heavies I paid grimson a visit - luckily for him and me - he was out.

We parked on the drive of 40 Hyde Way Wickford - we waited for about 15 minutes - but drove off because of nosey neighbours.

Sam remembered this as one of the two blokes who came to 22 Bridge Road was about 6ft 6in and Adam was so `impressed` he brought his mates in to stare at him.

And apart from March 2006 when grimson was visited by a couple of `proper people` from London just days after boasting of sick `sex sessions` with my daughter I have kept control of my emotions and bided my time.

If I had a pound for everyone who has told me "If I was you I`d kill the pervert" I`d be a millionaire.

But a friend, a genuine tough guy - who is also very wise said: "Dont ruin the rest of your life for 30 seconds of pleasure"
adding:
"A mate of mine is doing life and hardly sees his kids"

So I answered Sam`s question by saying:
"I know I let you, Adam and Princess down by not killing grimson - dont you think I`d love to do what Moat did to the boyfriend?"

Adding:
"But I would of missed all your birthdays, weddings, football matches, meeting your girlfriends, you becoming dads - would you of wanted that?

Sam:"Of course not"

Me:
"It`s alright Chas and everyone else saying `I`d do the bastard` but looking after you and Adam is more important then my pride"

Adding: "I promise you that If I get cancer or I`m given months to live with my dodgy heart I will kill him.
I`ll do months for the bastard but I aint doing life for the paedophile"

Sam: "I aint a kid anymore - if I see him again I`ll do him for what he did to me, Adam and PRINCESS"

I talked him out of it saying "You`ve got your whole life ahead of you - I will sort it before I die"

And I will - that`s why I aint `scared of death".

I dont want to die - I want to see my children get married and have kids of their own - but being told I only had "months to live" would allow me to execute a perverted pimp.

There is always a positive to every negative - and in my book a glass is always `half full` rather then `half empty`.

We both agreed that Moat was right to `shoot` the boyfriend - but should of wounded rather then killed him.

Chris Brown knew that messing with a `married woman was wrong.

I explained to Sam that every bloke in prison or serving in the Army worries about his wife cheating on him.

As the evening drew on with Domino`s being delivered and many a can of Red Bull (me) and Fosters (Sam) being sunk our conversation focused more on us and less on Mr Moat.

I told Sam how the hardrive of the main computer contained `vile and abusive` emails from his former mother to Adam.

We each have a personal laptop - but share the old Dell computer that is set-up in the lounge and taken by the police everytime they recieve a `false and malicious allegation` from ms johnson.

And despite half-a-dozen checks the only incriminating stuff on the hard-drive are emails from a certain Julie Taylor Johnson.
She accused Adam of being "mad" and "evil" for telling everyone about her boyfriends.

I explained that Adam had done nothing wrong and how those images will stay with him forever.

I know because when I was Thirteen I caught my dad snogging his latest `fancy women` on Barking Station and I never got over the `shock`.

It will be worse for Adam because he caught his mum half-naked and `at it` with perverted pimp richard grimson.

In court she lied "It was 3pm but I was only in my underwear because I had just got up from working nights"

Nice try - but a `blatant lie` as it was 3pm on a Saturday afternoon and she worked Thursday nights and never on a Friday.

Plus at Mid-day when Adam left for the Hilltop School Fete she was fully dressed and up and about.

These are facts that Adam, Sam and me will never forget.