Exciting news has just arrived for inclusion in the re-print of The Punk Poet.
I was hoping for a big trial at Basildon Crown Court with the details splashed all over the local press and tabloid newspapers - but I have already got a "not guilty".
And trying to take a `positive` out of a `negtive` at least I have legally "cleared my name".
Three police investigations and the CPS have found me "Not Guilty" of any crime.
I have been vindicted.
It is now accepted by all concerned that every allegation in The Punk Poet is fact.
Every word about perverted pimp richard grimson and the relevations about julie taylor johnson are true.
The legal letter from my top London based Criminal solicitors to my Family solicitor dated 4th January 2011 states:
"We understand that you act on behalf of Garry Johnson named in connection with a matter of Family Law.
We are asked to write in respect of a contact application made by our mutual client in respect of his daughter, who he has not seen for some considerable period of time.
We understand the basis of this are allegations made by his ex-wife about various matters relating to Mr Johnson and things that he is supposed to have done.
We can tell you that our involvement in this matter was to act on his behalf when he was arrested in relation to allegations made by his ex-wife that he had posted on the internet various false and damaging assertions about her.
We can tell you that following police investigations this was found NOT to be the case and that the allegations were for want of a better way of putting it malicious on the part of her.
He has not been subject to any prosecution and it is quite clear that the matter was for want of a better expression, manipulated by her to reflect upon him but that he had in fact NOT done anything which could or should be regarded as being wrong.
We trust that this information may be of assistance to you and if necessary, we can probably provide you with further information from our police station file if it were to be necessary"
(a copy of the original letter will appear in the book)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That legal letter and no action by the Police or CPS confirms I have never "lied" about or `libelled` julie taylor johnson or her perverted boyfriend richard gimson.
Every word, allegation and revealing fact in The Punk Poet is now accepted as the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
There can be no more denials from JULIE TAYLOR JOHNSON about making the porno movies SHOTGATE SLUT or BASILDON BABE or BLACK STOCKINGS AND BLOW JOBS denying that former pimp grimson violently threatened and verbally sexually absused our children.
Likewise the content of her medical records or past as a "dirty dancer".
And lets not forget julie personally handed over to the police her`porno poloroids` when she attempted to frame me.
I am hoping the publication of this legal letter will finally convince any doubters that every single word, sentence and paragraph that appears in THE PUNK POET is the gospel truth.
Wednesday 26 January 2011
Friday 14 January 2011
My Way - The Final Chapter
"And now, the end is near as I face the final curtain
Regrets , I`ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention
Yes, there were times, I`m sure you knew when I bit off more then I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spat it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way
For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has nought
To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows and did it My Way"
And those lyrics be they sung by Frank Sinatra or Sid Vicious sum up my life.
I always did it `my way` - not always the right way - many times the wrong way - but still proud to say "my way".
The fact is everything that happened in my life was mostly down to me - the good, the bad - the gains, the losses.
But the truth is I had no control over the `major event` that shaped my life as I did not choose my parents.
I was not to blame for my dad walking out or my mum moving to Manchester - as I was only a kid.
But I aint bitter - as you must always take a positve from a negative,
Example:
If my dad hadnt "fucked off" with his latest `fancy women` then years later I wouldnt of met julie and had my children.
Some people believe in religion - but I prefer fate and the message of the movie Sliding Doors.
The truth is I have only realised in recent years that the selfish behaviour of my parents had such a massive or negative influence on me.
Example:
I now know that my dad was a "selfish bastard" who never loved me - but dont get the violins out - cos I`m fucking glad.
But I do wish the `penny had dropped` in the 1990s.
A old mate of mine Fergie would leave the room whenever my old man entered.
He would say "I`m sorry Gal but I cant stand your dad - he is so up himself" adding "He`s one big-headed selfish bastard"
I wasnt offended - as I`ve always liked people who speak their mind - I would just laugh or even defend him.
But Fergie saw right through him and my big regret is that I didnt.
The truth is I was such a "up and happy" person when I met julie - and it werent just the speed and the Charlie - it was because for 15 years I`d hardly seen my dad and that was how I liked it.
And to further prove that every word in The Punk Poet is the 100% truth I will pay julie another tribute which this time has nothing to do with her "bedroom peformances" or "porno films".
Shortly after we met and thinking she was doing the `right thing` julie re-united me with my dad.
At the time I thought I was genuinely "pleased" but with hindsight it was the biggest mistake of my life and our relationship.
As you can not recreate "Happy Families".
This book is not a hatchet job on julie for being unfaithful or on my dad for being a `selfish bastard`.
It`s just the truth as I want everything out in the open and on-the-record and to prove the point I also criticise my mum.
When I met julie I had hardly seen my parents for 15 years and I was more then happy for that to continue.
And to be honest so were they.
I was the black sheep of the family and that`s how I liked it - and how it should of remained forever and a day.
Example:
Both had re-married but in 15 years I had neve been part of their new families - nor had I wanted to be.
Then as now I dont do or believe in second families - as they are also `second-best`. In my honest opinion second marraiges are a sham as you only fall in love once.
We only have one genuine `Soul Mate`.
Two incidents from my childhood standout.
The one and only time I visited my mum in Manchester she said "Dont call me mum in the garden in case the neighbours hear - as they dont know about you"
And my dad allowed the woman he married to have me put into care.
This is getting hard to write now and I think I`m beginning to `ramble` but I`ve got to get everything on-the-record before its too late.
I have since page one been 100% honest and told the absolute tuth about everything so I cant start censoring things at this late stage.
Fact 1.
The boys and me no longer have any contact with my low-life dad because he sees my ex-wife on a weekly basis.
And I am not `sad or bitter` because it is great to finally have him out of my life - I have not seen or spoken to him for 2 years and I genuinely feel so much better for it.
It is such a relief to finally get him out of my life.
Its not just the fact that he `socialises` with my ex-wife, I also hate the bastard because he`s slagged off my children,
I was given this info by one of my oldest friends, whose mum and dad looked after me when I was a teenager.
She said "Gal you are not going to like this but I spoke to Chas earlier and he really slagged off your boys - he called them all sorts"
That was enough for me to finally end all ties with him. She added "And he still sees julie and was going on about how pleased he was about her engagement"
I knew nothing about this - but I trust this person 100% - and added "My mum and dad would be disgusted by some of the things he said about the boys and you"
I wont name this female who has a boys name - as like everyone featured in this book I am "more than happy" to protect the identity of the innocent and only name the "guilty".
Proof:
The relative of grimson who contacted me about his `perverted past` - I did not name her because she feared reprisials.
I said just enough in case julie wanted to contact her on Facebook by giving a list of clues in the Chapter "New Evidence`
For-the-record her surname was the same as a Eastenders/Bill star whose house julie and me me visited in Herongate/Brentwood.
Likewise Fat Gary - the scum who boasted to my son "I`m a face in Canning Town" and who comes into daily contact with Princess
I didnt give his surname to Social Services or the police cos I aint a grass. And I didnt name his Coke dealer - I just gave a clue.
Saying It`s the same name as a character from Corrie and Star Trek (and rhymes with burk)
Fact 2:
And no contact with my mum for over a year because we found out she met julie in a Basildon McDonalds and spoke to her at a funeral.
Fact 3:
I now feel just like I did in the 15 years before I got married and that is "Free of my past" and the unwanted influence of my parents.
To be honest this final chapter is the hardest to write as I`ve discovered how various childhood events shaped my character and helped to destroy my marraige.
As I hadnt had much contact with my parents since the age of 12 - not a single Xmas or Birthday spent with either of them - I didnt realise how `dangerous` and `upsetting` being reunited with them would be.
And to be honest neither did julie as I genuinely believe she had my best interests at heart - she had no idea the can of worms she was opening.
For aout 15 years I had been seperated from my parents - I werent bothered and neither were they.
And that aint "front" on my part - I had somehow got involved in the wacky world of Showbiz and was living every boys dream of "Sex & drugs & rock`n`roll".
I had a fucking fantastic life and never really thought about my parents or my childhood.
This next bit for now will be written in sections as I have `Writers Block`
Mum:
I was a major dissapointment and nothing I did was ever good enough for her. Even before my dad left and she fucked off to Manchester with her `toy boy` I was not the snotty son she longed for.
My mum wanted a posh little brainbox with a college boy haircut and middle-class manners - but I was a football fanatic who didnt like school, hated the police and had a number 3 crop.
I was a "teenage tearaway` at Eleven and banged-up in Boyles Court Remand Home before I was 12.
So maybe she had good reason to be dissapointed in me - but was that really "grounds" to fuck off to Manchester?
Now before I married julie I had never met any of my mum`s husbands family - not once in Fifteen years - but within weeks of marrying julie the pair of us were invited to a party at Barking Town Hall.
All of a sudden I excisted - but I was so wrong to get involved with "Families Reunited".
Over the years my mum said and did things that at the time I either ignored, didnt take seriously or mis-handled.
She said things to cause friction between julie and me or to undermine my wife and looking back I didnt `protect` julie or consider her feelings.
I thought wrongly that because I have always gone through life "not giving a monkees what other people think of me" that julie should think the same.
Example:
My mum would always make comments about julie`s appearance and how little she ate - and I would say "ignore her, she`s jealous"
I`d try and explain my mum was a lifelong and failed member of Weightwatchers who would give her right arm to be a size Eight.
The truth is she was jealous of julie`s looks and always making negative comments about everything from the kids behaviour to how much money we spent on what she considered "daft things"
I think she even resented our nice big 4-bed house because I got it without ever having a proper job.
Looking back there was even a pattern in her behaviour - just as I had always been a academic failure - she started saying things about my children being mote interested in football then school work.
She`d comment on their bedtimes, diet and cockney accents - at the time - as is my way - I just igmored them or laughed them off - but I should of put my foot down.
Julie would often say "Your mum dont like me" and I can still hear myself saying "Bollocks" or "So what, who cares?".
But julie was "spot on" as since the divorce my mum claims "I never liked her from day one" as if I should be impressed - I werent as she was "slagging off" the mother of my children - she didnt understand that cos julie hated me and wanted me `dead` the feeling does not have to be mutual.
The only people who have genuine reasons to hate julie are my children - likewise they are the only ones with the `right` to slag her off.
I dont "slag her off" and never have apart from the first 2 weeks after she left and various people can confirm that as fact.
The most important being my children.
Social Workers, Cafcass, friends have all remarked how I dont appear bitter and how I have never said anything "nasty" about her.
And I am proud of that - I can look myself in the mirror and say "Loyal throughout and loyal to the end"
My solicitors would say "Garry you have got to take our advice and say something negative about mrs johnson"
I refused and would only tell the truth - they would say "She is taking advice from her solicitors and telling lies about you - and you must do the same"
They did not understand that "loyalty" can not be watered-down.
And just as I have not told a single lie or made one false claim in this book I would not lie in Court.
I have never lied to my sons about their former mother - as I wrote in "THE GANGSTER OF SLANG" and said to both boys "grimson had some kind of hold over her" and "it was her solicitors who told her to lie about the 3 of us in court".
But back to my mum.
Her past-divorce behaviour proves to me that she was always looking to cause friction and believe me she did.
The truth is I never wanted to play "happy families" with my mum and dad - I tried my best but after 8 years the novelty wore off and I couldnt pretend anymore.
I hated them and their partners kissing and cuddling my children - I would get "stressed" the day before they visited and would stay "stressed out" until they left.
The fact is I gave it my best shot because I honestly thought my kids would benefit from having grandparents - that was one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
I aint being nasty or spiteful but my Wedding Day was without doubt the "worst day of my life" NOT the marrying julie bit- that was a dream come true - as I loved her to bits and fancied her like mad.
The reason I hated every minute and felt sick and disorientated throughout was because my mum and dad were there - it was the first time I had been in the same room as the two of them since I was 13.
I only got through the day because Garry Bushell slipped me a few lines of Charlie - it took the edge off - but I hated being in the same room as them and there poxy partners.
Dad:
What can I say about this c**t?
As a little kid he was my hero - right up there with Georgie Best, The Kray Twins and David Bowie.
But he was a 100 carat phoney. The sort of low-life scum who gives dad`s a bad name.
I was his shadow and the two of us went everywhere together - if we werent playing football over the park, we were at Hackney Dogs or playing Subuteo.
He wanted me to be a footballer and he took me training and for trials at West Ham, QPR, Orient and Southend.
My dad never missed a game - and this next it is really hard to say - the thing is when he left my mum he stopped watching me play - and blamed it on his new wife.
Now I hated that women for 30 years - the only person I have ever hated more is perverted pimp richard grimson - so I cant believe what I`m about to write.
I hated my dad`s wife with every bone in my model and prayed for her to die - but with hindsight and with 2 years of counselling I think I got it wrong (slighty wrong).
The fact is my dad was such a selfish bastard that I now believe he was "happy" for her to take all the blame so that he remained a "hero" in my eyes.
Just after he left I contacted my dad and told him Ipswich Town had seen me play and offered a trial - he refused to take me - saying it was too far and that jean (his slag wife-to-be) wouldnt let him go to Ipswich.
Like a mug I believed him and spent the rest of my life hating her - like jews hate Hitler.
But as Fergie and julie often said "your dad was weak - why didnt he stand up to her?"
(Ipswich is also the hometown of grimsons female relative who contacted me via Facebook to inform me of his past as a`women hater and child abuser`)
I now believe that although I still consider my late stepmother to be a evil fucking bitch - she might not of been 100% responsible for me going into care - I now believe my dad was also to blame.
And I never thought I`d take some of the blame off her - but I still fucking hate her as much as the KKK hate blacks.
Perverts:
Like most decent people I hate child abusers and perverts like Brady, Huntley and richard grimson of Wisech. (formerly 40 Hyde Way Wickford Essex)
And I dont just hate julie`s boyfriend because he`s a former pimp who violently threatened and verbally sexually abused my children - I hate him because I have had a life-long hatred of nonce cases.
This is because I am a "victim" so my hatred of peadophiles is also personal.
The first time I was sent to Boyles Court Remand Home in Brentwood - I was just 11 and a few weeks away from my 12th birthday.
We slept in dormatories and as well as the staff there were a couple of volunteers from a charity they would turn up at weekends in a big white mini-bus with the letters TOC H written on the side.
I`ll never forget the first Sunday night - this TOC H bloke who looked like Ronnie Corbett sat on my bed and placed his hand above the sheets around my `privates` area - nothing actually happened - but he had no right to place his hand below my belly button area.
The truth is I never forgot that incident - but it was only when I got older that I realisd how I`d had a lucky escape.
And just as I will never forget what happened to me at Boyles Court I dont think my son will ever forget walking in and finding his mum half-naked and "at it" with richard grimson.
Just as both boys will never forget or forgive their mother for doing nothing when her perverted boyfriend boasted of vile sex sessions with a little girl.
Five years on they both still refer to her as "the slag" or "that fucking slag" and who can blame them?
How many teenage boys would be "happy" about their mum having a string of men and a sexual disease?
As well as grimson, flemming, tibbs jnr, vinnie and the STD/Herpes - they also know about the men their friends parents have seen her with in various pubs and clubs.
She `forgets` that the Festival Leisure Park isnt a million miles from Wickford and that my children have a lot of friends.
I went back to Boyles Court when I was Fourteen - the TOC H `pervert` was still there - but this time he came nowhere near me.
But Boyles Court does have one happy memory - it was during my first stay that I became a "wheeler-dealer"
I refused to eat the food so I was allowed to carry a jar of marmite with me - and would swap my meals for the other boys bread.
Sunday mornings were the highlight of the week cos you got toast and I would swap my cardboard cornflakes for toast.
Marmite on toast is still my all-time favourite food.
I`ve had various addictions over the years - speed, Charlie, lager, Punk Rock, Bowie, The Krays, julie, West Ham, - but marmite is my oldest habit.
Regrets , I`ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention
Yes, there were times, I`m sure you knew when I bit off more then I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spat it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way
For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has nought
To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows and did it My Way"
And those lyrics be they sung by Frank Sinatra or Sid Vicious sum up my life.
I always did it `my way` - not always the right way - many times the wrong way - but still proud to say "my way".
The fact is everything that happened in my life was mostly down to me - the good, the bad - the gains, the losses.
But the truth is I had no control over the `major event` that shaped my life as I did not choose my parents.
I was not to blame for my dad walking out or my mum moving to Manchester - as I was only a kid.
But I aint bitter - as you must always take a positve from a negative,
Example:
If my dad hadnt "fucked off" with his latest `fancy women` then years later I wouldnt of met julie and had my children.
Some people believe in religion - but I prefer fate and the message of the movie Sliding Doors.
The truth is I have only realised in recent years that the selfish behaviour of my parents had such a massive or negative influence on me.
Example:
I now know that my dad was a "selfish bastard" who never loved me - but dont get the violins out - cos I`m fucking glad.
But I do wish the `penny had dropped` in the 1990s.
A old mate of mine Fergie would leave the room whenever my old man entered.
He would say "I`m sorry Gal but I cant stand your dad - he is so up himself" adding "He`s one big-headed selfish bastard"
I wasnt offended - as I`ve always liked people who speak their mind - I would just laugh or even defend him.
But Fergie saw right through him and my big regret is that I didnt.
The truth is I was such a "up and happy" person when I met julie - and it werent just the speed and the Charlie - it was because for 15 years I`d hardly seen my dad and that was how I liked it.
And to further prove that every word in The Punk Poet is the 100% truth I will pay julie another tribute which this time has nothing to do with her "bedroom peformances" or "porno films".
Shortly after we met and thinking she was doing the `right thing` julie re-united me with my dad.
At the time I thought I was genuinely "pleased" but with hindsight it was the biggest mistake of my life and our relationship.
As you can not recreate "Happy Families".
This book is not a hatchet job on julie for being unfaithful or on my dad for being a `selfish bastard`.
It`s just the truth as I want everything out in the open and on-the-record and to prove the point I also criticise my mum.
When I met julie I had hardly seen my parents for 15 years and I was more then happy for that to continue.
And to be honest so were they.
I was the black sheep of the family and that`s how I liked it - and how it should of remained forever and a day.
Example:
Both had re-married but in 15 years I had neve been part of their new families - nor had I wanted to be.
Then as now I dont do or believe in second families - as they are also `second-best`. In my honest opinion second marraiges are a sham as you only fall in love once.
We only have one genuine `Soul Mate`.
Two incidents from my childhood standout.
The one and only time I visited my mum in Manchester she said "Dont call me mum in the garden in case the neighbours hear - as they dont know about you"
And my dad allowed the woman he married to have me put into care.
This is getting hard to write now and I think I`m beginning to `ramble` but I`ve got to get everything on-the-record before its too late.
I have since page one been 100% honest and told the absolute tuth about everything so I cant start censoring things at this late stage.
Fact 1.
The boys and me no longer have any contact with my low-life dad because he sees my ex-wife on a weekly basis.
And I am not `sad or bitter` because it is great to finally have him out of my life - I have not seen or spoken to him for 2 years and I genuinely feel so much better for it.
It is such a relief to finally get him out of my life.
Its not just the fact that he `socialises` with my ex-wife, I also hate the bastard because he`s slagged off my children,
I was given this info by one of my oldest friends, whose mum and dad looked after me when I was a teenager.
She said "Gal you are not going to like this but I spoke to Chas earlier and he really slagged off your boys - he called them all sorts"
That was enough for me to finally end all ties with him. She added "And he still sees julie and was going on about how pleased he was about her engagement"
I knew nothing about this - but I trust this person 100% - and added "My mum and dad would be disgusted by some of the things he said about the boys and you"
I wont name this female who has a boys name - as like everyone featured in this book I am "more than happy" to protect the identity of the innocent and only name the "guilty".
Proof:
The relative of grimson who contacted me about his `perverted past` - I did not name her because she feared reprisials.
I said just enough in case julie wanted to contact her on Facebook by giving a list of clues in the Chapter "New Evidence`
For-the-record her surname was the same as a Eastenders/Bill star whose house julie and me me visited in Herongate/Brentwood.
Likewise Fat Gary - the scum who boasted to my son "I`m a face in Canning Town" and who comes into daily contact with Princess
I didnt give his surname to Social Services or the police cos I aint a grass. And I didnt name his Coke dealer - I just gave a clue.
Saying It`s the same name as a character from Corrie and Star Trek (and rhymes with burk)
Fact 2:
And no contact with my mum for over a year because we found out she met julie in a Basildon McDonalds and spoke to her at a funeral.
Fact 3:
I now feel just like I did in the 15 years before I got married and that is "Free of my past" and the unwanted influence of my parents.
To be honest this final chapter is the hardest to write as I`ve discovered how various childhood events shaped my character and helped to destroy my marraige.
As I hadnt had much contact with my parents since the age of 12 - not a single Xmas or Birthday spent with either of them - I didnt realise how `dangerous` and `upsetting` being reunited with them would be.
And to be honest neither did julie as I genuinely believe she had my best interests at heart - she had no idea the can of worms she was opening.
For aout 15 years I had been seperated from my parents - I werent bothered and neither were they.
And that aint "front" on my part - I had somehow got involved in the wacky world of Showbiz and was living every boys dream of "Sex & drugs & rock`n`roll".
I had a fucking fantastic life and never really thought about my parents or my childhood.
This next bit for now will be written in sections as I have `Writers Block`
Mum:
I was a major dissapointment and nothing I did was ever good enough for her. Even before my dad left and she fucked off to Manchester with her `toy boy` I was not the snotty son she longed for.
My mum wanted a posh little brainbox with a college boy haircut and middle-class manners - but I was a football fanatic who didnt like school, hated the police and had a number 3 crop.
I was a "teenage tearaway` at Eleven and banged-up in Boyles Court Remand Home before I was 12.
So maybe she had good reason to be dissapointed in me - but was that really "grounds" to fuck off to Manchester?
Now before I married julie I had never met any of my mum`s husbands family - not once in Fifteen years - but within weeks of marrying julie the pair of us were invited to a party at Barking Town Hall.
All of a sudden I excisted - but I was so wrong to get involved with "Families Reunited".
Over the years my mum said and did things that at the time I either ignored, didnt take seriously or mis-handled.
She said things to cause friction between julie and me or to undermine my wife and looking back I didnt `protect` julie or consider her feelings.
I thought wrongly that because I have always gone through life "not giving a monkees what other people think of me" that julie should think the same.
Example:
My mum would always make comments about julie`s appearance and how little she ate - and I would say "ignore her, she`s jealous"
I`d try and explain my mum was a lifelong and failed member of Weightwatchers who would give her right arm to be a size Eight.
The truth is she was jealous of julie`s looks and always making negative comments about everything from the kids behaviour to how much money we spent on what she considered "daft things"
I think she even resented our nice big 4-bed house because I got it without ever having a proper job.
Looking back there was even a pattern in her behaviour - just as I had always been a academic failure - she started saying things about my children being mote interested in football then school work.
She`d comment on their bedtimes, diet and cockney accents - at the time - as is my way - I just igmored them or laughed them off - but I should of put my foot down.
Julie would often say "Your mum dont like me" and I can still hear myself saying "Bollocks" or "So what, who cares?".
But julie was "spot on" as since the divorce my mum claims "I never liked her from day one" as if I should be impressed - I werent as she was "slagging off" the mother of my children - she didnt understand that cos julie hated me and wanted me `dead` the feeling does not have to be mutual.
The only people who have genuine reasons to hate julie are my children - likewise they are the only ones with the `right` to slag her off.
I dont "slag her off" and never have apart from the first 2 weeks after she left and various people can confirm that as fact.
The most important being my children.
Social Workers, Cafcass, friends have all remarked how I dont appear bitter and how I have never said anything "nasty" about her.
And I am proud of that - I can look myself in the mirror and say "Loyal throughout and loyal to the end"
My solicitors would say "Garry you have got to take our advice and say something negative about mrs johnson"
I refused and would only tell the truth - they would say "She is taking advice from her solicitors and telling lies about you - and you must do the same"
They did not understand that "loyalty" can not be watered-down.
And just as I have not told a single lie or made one false claim in this book I would not lie in Court.
I have never lied to my sons about their former mother - as I wrote in "THE GANGSTER OF SLANG" and said to both boys "grimson had some kind of hold over her" and "it was her solicitors who told her to lie about the 3 of us in court".
But back to my mum.
Her past-divorce behaviour proves to me that she was always looking to cause friction and believe me she did.
The truth is I never wanted to play "happy families" with my mum and dad - I tried my best but after 8 years the novelty wore off and I couldnt pretend anymore.
I hated them and their partners kissing and cuddling my children - I would get "stressed" the day before they visited and would stay "stressed out" until they left.
The fact is I gave it my best shot because I honestly thought my kids would benefit from having grandparents - that was one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
I aint being nasty or spiteful but my Wedding Day was without doubt the "worst day of my life" NOT the marrying julie bit- that was a dream come true - as I loved her to bits and fancied her like mad.
The reason I hated every minute and felt sick and disorientated throughout was because my mum and dad were there - it was the first time I had been in the same room as the two of them since I was 13.
I only got through the day because Garry Bushell slipped me a few lines of Charlie - it took the edge off - but I hated being in the same room as them and there poxy partners.
Dad:
What can I say about this c**t?
As a little kid he was my hero - right up there with Georgie Best, The Kray Twins and David Bowie.
But he was a 100 carat phoney. The sort of low-life scum who gives dad`s a bad name.
I was his shadow and the two of us went everywhere together - if we werent playing football over the park, we were at Hackney Dogs or playing Subuteo.
He wanted me to be a footballer and he took me training and for trials at West Ham, QPR, Orient and Southend.
My dad never missed a game - and this next it is really hard to say - the thing is when he left my mum he stopped watching me play - and blamed it on his new wife.
Now I hated that women for 30 years - the only person I have ever hated more is perverted pimp richard grimson - so I cant believe what I`m about to write.
I hated my dad`s wife with every bone in my model and prayed for her to die - but with hindsight and with 2 years of counselling I think I got it wrong (slighty wrong).
The fact is my dad was such a selfish bastard that I now believe he was "happy" for her to take all the blame so that he remained a "hero" in my eyes.
Just after he left I contacted my dad and told him Ipswich Town had seen me play and offered a trial - he refused to take me - saying it was too far and that jean (his slag wife-to-be) wouldnt let him go to Ipswich.
Like a mug I believed him and spent the rest of my life hating her - like jews hate Hitler.
But as Fergie and julie often said "your dad was weak - why didnt he stand up to her?"
(Ipswich is also the hometown of grimsons female relative who contacted me via Facebook to inform me of his past as a`women hater and child abuser`)
I now believe that although I still consider my late stepmother to be a evil fucking bitch - she might not of been 100% responsible for me going into care - I now believe my dad was also to blame.
And I never thought I`d take some of the blame off her - but I still fucking hate her as much as the KKK hate blacks.
Perverts:
Like most decent people I hate child abusers and perverts like Brady, Huntley and richard grimson of Wisech. (formerly 40 Hyde Way Wickford Essex)
And I dont just hate julie`s boyfriend because he`s a former pimp who violently threatened and verbally sexually abused my children - I hate him because I have had a life-long hatred of nonce cases.
This is because I am a "victim" so my hatred of peadophiles is also personal.
The first time I was sent to Boyles Court Remand Home in Brentwood - I was just 11 and a few weeks away from my 12th birthday.
We slept in dormatories and as well as the staff there were a couple of volunteers from a charity they would turn up at weekends in a big white mini-bus with the letters TOC H written on the side.
I`ll never forget the first Sunday night - this TOC H bloke who looked like Ronnie Corbett sat on my bed and placed his hand above the sheets around my `privates` area - nothing actually happened - but he had no right to place his hand below my belly button area.
The truth is I never forgot that incident - but it was only when I got older that I realisd how I`d had a lucky escape.
And just as I will never forget what happened to me at Boyles Court I dont think my son will ever forget walking in and finding his mum half-naked and "at it" with richard grimson.
Just as both boys will never forget or forgive their mother for doing nothing when her perverted boyfriend boasted of vile sex sessions with a little girl.
Five years on they both still refer to her as "the slag" or "that fucking slag" and who can blame them?
How many teenage boys would be "happy" about their mum having a string of men and a sexual disease?
As well as grimson, flemming, tibbs jnr, vinnie and the STD/Herpes - they also know about the men their friends parents have seen her with in various pubs and clubs.
She `forgets` that the Festival Leisure Park isnt a million miles from Wickford and that my children have a lot of friends.
I went back to Boyles Court when I was Fourteen - the TOC H `pervert` was still there - but this time he came nowhere near me.
But Boyles Court does have one happy memory - it was during my first stay that I became a "wheeler-dealer"
I refused to eat the food so I was allowed to carry a jar of marmite with me - and would swap my meals for the other boys bread.
Sunday mornings were the highlight of the week cos you got toast and I would swap my cardboard cornflakes for toast.
Marmite on toast is still my all-time favourite food.
I`ve had various addictions over the years - speed, Charlie, lager, Punk Rock, Bowie, The Krays, julie, West Ham, - but marmite is my oldest habit.
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