This is an extract from Private Eye magazine.
In a sensational exclusive, The People revealed a few weeks ago that Robbie Williams is learning Cockney rhyming slang because he wants to play an East End Gangster in a film.
"The pop superstar wants to ditch his Stoke-on-Trent accent to play an ex-boxer turned East London `Mr Big`, it reported.
A source said `Robbie read about the character in a book called The Punk Poet and it blew him away. But he knows he has got to sound like a Cockney if he wants the part` "
The film will also need a sexy actress to play the role of real-life porn star Julie Taylor Johnson. Both Patsy Kensit and Denise Van Outen would be pefect for the part of the Walthamstow stripper who become infamous for her performances in x-rated movies like BASILDON BABE, The SHOTGATE Slut and Dressing Up And Stripping Off.
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